


Honesty and Scotch

by Sapphire_Princess



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: 00Q - Freeform, Conversation over scotch, M talks some sense into Bond, M/M, SPECTRE Fix-It, the converation hinted at in Overdue Holiday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 20:23:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20699339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphire_Princess/pseuds/Sapphire_Princess
Summary: Gareth Mallory cares about his people more than Bond expected. But showing up in his flat and drinking his alcohol might be a step too far.Companion piece to Overdue Holiday.





	Honesty and Scotch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soufflegirl91](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/gifts).

> This can be read as a stand-alone fix it for Spectre or as a companion piece for my fic Overdue Holiday.  
For Soufflegirl91 for all her support!

James is exhausted, tired beyond the words crashing through his head and just wants to sleep. 

But Gareth Mallory is sat in his living room, an open bottle of scotch to the side of the sofa he’s sat on, a glass in his hand. He looks relaxed in posture but his eyes are serious. 

“Bond. Care to tell me why you left our Quartermaster on a bridge in the middle of the night when I know you’re in love with him?”

“Mallory.” He takes off his shoes and hangs up his coat. Takes the bottle from the floor and pours two measures into the glass left for him. 

Then draws the curtains. 

When he sits in his chair he offers neither confirmation or denial. Of course, Mallory knows. James spends all his downtime in Q Branch. 

“Moneypenny told me this place looked barely lived in. Your decorating skills are appalling, Bond.”

“Not really a priority for me. There’s a bed for me to sleep in, a shower and, when the head of MI6 isn’t drinking it all, scotch.”

“Where’s Dr. Swann?”

“Exactly where she wanted to be; hidden and safe.”

Mallory looks surprised. “That explains why you’ve suddenly reappeared on the grid.”

“And why you’re in my flat?”

Mallory shrugs and takes another long drink. 

“I’m here because you left without a word, my Quartermaster is professional to a fault at work - which he rarely leaves - and when he’s not he’s absolutely devastated.”

James clenches his jaw as his heart constricts. 

“He was almost shot on the way to C’s tower. He could have died. But the other night he looked as though someone else had.”

Cold, cold panic flashes through James. The same ice that almost took him over in Austria on the way to the Pevsner.

“Oberhauser has to think I’ve left with Madeline.”

“And he does. He’ll be dealt with when the time is right. The moment I think he’s not safely imprisoned I’ll go there myself.”

“I should have shot him.”

Mallory nods. “I agree. I would have in your position. But I can’t deny we’ve learnt some things these last few weeks.” He refills his glass - from a second bottle he retrieves from behind the sofa. “That’s not why I’m here. What’s going on with you, Bond? Do you really want to retire? And as much as it would pain me to lose him, couldn’t you take Q and ride off into the sunset?”

“You think he’d go with me?”

“I don’t know. But I’m relatively sure he’d want to. And you could have said goodbye.”

To that James nods. “I’m not sure what I’m doing. Madeline and I are, were a short term fling. We both got what we wanted. Then I got much more than I bargained for.”

“Oh?”

“A new therapist.”

“Good for you, Bond,” he says genuinely. A light appearing in his eyes that James hasn’t seen since their brief action plan on the roof. 

“And. I’ve asked Q to dinner on five separate occasions. He always turns me down.”

“I wonder why.” Mallory’s eyebrows raise and he gives James a pointed look. 

“I didn’t think he was interested.”

“Yes, well, I’m sure the prospect of being another one of your conquests was rather unappealing to him.”

“He wouldn’t have been that.”

“A fact both you and I know well, but have you tried to tell him?”

James shakes his head. “Recently I’ve thought it better to... distance myself from him.”

“I can only imagine you think that it will somehow protect him. Well, congratulations, Bond. He’s grieving for you.”

James freezes, breath stuttering in his chest as his heart fractures. 

Mallory notices and this time he pours James another drink, placing it back into his hands with care. 

“That’s what I thought.” Mallory sighs and shakes his head, wiping a hand over his face. “You could have come to me with all this. Invited me round for a drink and some war stories, told me what was going on. I would have helped you in all unofficial ways I could.”

James nods, hearing the words but not really listening to them. 

“I know why you didn’t. But you could have done. I’d have found a way to clue in Q, Bill, and Moneypenny.”

As James is learning they do tend to spend time together outside of work. 

“It also isn’t too late for things to be... fixed. I think that’s the right word.”

James thinks of Q, of the brief look they shared on that roof and the glance he caught on the bridge. How it broke his heart to walk away from the man he loves and his friends. Towards another soul that needed saving - away from a madman who’d tried to torment and torture them. 

“I left to keep you safe. To keep him safe.”

“We all know the risks when we start this job. Q and R were both here the day the old headquarters were blown up. We are here to make sure this country stays safe. We all know the risks.”

James shakes his head. “He’s in too much danger that close to me. Oberhauser said-“

“I’ve seen the recordings, Bond. And even if he was telling the truth, which sounds implausible, we have him now and we’ve already started to dismantle Spectre.”

“He tortured me. Tried to drill into my brain and take away my recognition of those I know. I kept seeing Q in my mind and I...” he can’t finish and Mallory doesn’t force him to. 

“James. He’s clearly devastated but he has good people around him. But what do you want?”

“I don’t know.” True and not true. He wants to be with Q. He wants stability and happiness, maybe even peace. He is so, so tired and worn out down to his soul. And Madeline has helped him to start finding a way through things. But there’s so much. So very much. 

“I left this world of shadows for the woman I loved. And we had a good life together. When she died, of natural causes, I took the job to oversee Mansfield’s transition.

“Look, James, you have choices. Several of them. And one of them is finding happiness.”

“I’m not just afraid of losing him. I know I won’t survive it.” He’s the tether, the anchor James didn’t know he’d attached himself to. And without him he knows he’ll likely lose himself in the worst way possible. 

Mallory closes his eyes and sits back. “I’m saying this as your friend rather than your boss. I would understand that. I don’t want it to ever happen, but, James, if it did... your choices would be your own.” He sounds sad but resolved to whatever end James would choose. 

“But Q keeps himself as safe and possible at all times. It’s you that’s at risk more often.”

“M,” James says carefully. “I love him more than Vesper... and I’d have died for her.”

Mallory meets and holds his gaze. “Rumour has it you also chose to live for her.”

James swallows around the lump in his throat. He remembers the love, their brief happiness, and the utter devastation that followed her death. If Q is feeling that sort of pain and James is not only responsible but can fix it...

“James?” Mallory sounds concerned. 

When James comes back to himself he realises he’s crying. He wipes his cheeks and puts his drink on the floor.

When he’s composed himself enough to speak he says, “Mallory, I can barely handle looking after myself right now. I don’t know what to say to make it up to Q.”

“Take a holiday. An actual holiday somewhere quiet and out of the way. Take a month and take Q, if he’ll go with you. Either way, he should have the time as well.

“You both need to recover from all of this, more than the rest of us.”

James manages a weak nod. 

“When?”

“You can leave in the morning. I’ll make sure it’s all authorised.”

“And how do I find Q? I can’t show up on his doorstep.”

“I doubt you’d even get that far without his authorisation. But he’s been in Q Branch every morning just after 5:30 and I know you have the access code to the other entrance.”

James raises his eyebrows. 

“You made sure you had that car. Even if I overlook Q taking a flight to Austria to bring you in and Moneypenny’s involvement in your research.”

“Q hates flying.”

Mallory nods. “He does. But there wasn’t another way to get to you in time.”

James winces. “I could have gotten him killed.”

“Possibly. But I doubt it. He didn’t follow you like a love-sick puppy. He went because it was the best choice he had. It does seem, from a different perspective, that you used him when he got there.”

“I needed him to go home. I was... he was in too much danger.”

“We all were. I wasn’t happy knowing you were in the enemies headquarters and we couldn’t do anything. I hated feeling helpless and unable to provide you with the backup you needed. We were all exposed and I don’t ever want my people to be in that position again.” His eyes turn hard and fierce and James smiles. 

“That’s why I trust you, M.”

“Coming from you, 007, that means a lot.”

“Am I?”

“You’re still 007 for as long as you want it. On the field, at a desk, there are options, James. It’s up to you.”

James takes a moment to parse that. It feels like freedom. 

“Weapons testing and development?” he asks to test the waters. 

“If Q will approve it I’d sign it off. I’d also welcome you as my second; you could run the Double O program whilst I oversee the rest of MI6.” Mallory is completely serious. 

“Sir-“

“Bond. There are not many people, let alone agents who would go to the lengths you have to do what needed to be done. I don’t want I lose you to retirement if it’s not what you want. 

“Your methods are unorthodox and often risky. But you do what you have to do to get the job done. You are more than just an assassin, 007.”

James laughs bitterly. “Am I?” he asks. “Sometimes that’s all I see myself as.”

“It’s easy to get lost in that side of things. But we wouldn’t waste a license to kill on a mere assassin. They only kill who they’re told to. You’re trusted to use your instincts to make that choice.”

He’s reminded of Q and their first meeting. He often is. Hardly helped by the fact he has a postcard of the Fighting Temeraire in his locker and another in his barely-used desk draw. 

Q was the first spark of light he’d seen in a long, long time. And he’d felt a rightness settle into place between them along with trust. 

“Not everyone sees it that way.”

Mallory nods. “Very true. Your therapist should have kept her opinions on that to herself during your sessions.”

“She tried. But even if I did love her it couldn’t have worked. I’ll always see the shades of grey and seek justice. The burden is usually worth it.”

“You hide your wisdom well, Bond. But you can choose to live in the lighter side of things.”

“With Q?”

“If he’ll have you. No one will stand in your way. If they try and you can’t deal with them; I will.”

James nods and accepts this. 

“What will you say? If we both suddenly disappear?”

Mallory smiles at him. “Well, you’re already gone as far as anyone knows. And Q really could do with the holiday. He can tell R where he is and who he’s with - without using official channels - but keep it from everyone else. Just in case.”

“There’s more, isn’t there.”

“There is always more, 007. But let us deal with the cleanup. You’ve still got a large backlog of holiday time to take.” He finishes his drink and pours another. He notices James watching him and chuckles. “I left you another bottle in your cupboard. I wouldn’t break in and not compensate you.”

James’ eyebrows raise. “I’m not sure what to say to that,” he admits. Falling back into his chair. 

“Whatever you want. I can leave if you think you’ll sleep?”

James is still exhausted but his mind is firing at full speed. 

“Not likely, no.”

“Then how about a drink and some war stories?” Mallory suggests. 

“Yours?”

“Why not. It’s been a while since I’ve had anyone to tell them to.”

***

Mallory leaves around 4 am, so James packs and takes a nap for an hour. 

James dresses carefully, packs the car M left him with and drives to MI6. Even London is quiet at this hour, the pale light that fills the city waiting for the day to start. 

***

That night, after a whirlwind of a day, he’s settled in a cottage with Q in his arms. 

They have a long way to go and James can’t shake the fear of losing him, but they’re here and it’s a start. 

He falls asleep to the feel of Q wrapped around him and when he wakes he holds on tight and reminds himself that it’s real, that he’s there and that Q loves him. 

Enough for a second chance. Enough for a future.


End file.
